If the subject of personal growth or success interest you and if you read self-help books, or attend training, or watch the motivational talk, you have most likely heard the phrase ‘overcome your fears.’ Isn’t it?
It is also my belief & experience that our fears hold us in a limited life experience. Fear of failing, fear of what-if-I-am-wrong, fear of being judged, fear of not being good enough, fear if you can handle big success, etc., etc. are all the fears our mind keeps thinking which hold us back from doing what we dream about doing, what we want to be.
To experience a fulfilling life, to explore and unlock your true potential would certainly require you to overcome the fear that is holding you back.
But how the hell one does that? is a big question.
It may look daunting, but it can be simple. Not easy but certainly worthwhile and simple.
Following 3 key realizations could help you overcome what is holding you.
- Examine the real enemy: Look at it like separating the chaff from the grain. If you examine the fears realistically, you would be surprised that most of our fears are imagined fears. Most of the fears would sound like ‘what-ifs’ and have a probability of happening ‘subject to’. Moreover, anything new that you have never tried before is obviously bound to have some desirable and some undesirable outcomes. Know that nothing is black or white. There is practically nothing in this universe that is only good and desirable even in nature. Even whatever you are currently doing also has some desirable and some undesirable consequences. Whenever there is something new and unknown, though our imaginative mind brings both sides up, our conditioned & ancient mind protects us from unknown outcomes by exaggerating and amplifying the risks proportionately higher. Our creative mind rationalizes the safer options by coming up with excuses and stories. So, it is important to separate the chaff from the grain by knowing that the real enemy is not the fear but the conditioned mind. Having said that there are certainly real undesirable outcomes that you need to be aware that they are real too. One more aspect of separating the chaff from the grain is to know that it would be a foolish fantasy to expect only desirable outcomes. Become aware that polarity is part of life and the universe and every outcome, no matter what
- Feel the fear and do it without overthinking: Having increased your awareness and separated the real fears is half the victory. The next obvious step is to plan your actions considering realistic assumptions about real fears and create a mitigation plan. Once done, just DO what you decided to do. Do not overthink. Do not go into a never-ending perfectionist loop. Know that real fears and obstacles will not disappear completely. Remember a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. If you want to be a skilled sailor, you get up and go into the sea with a mindset of exploring rough and calm both. So, feel the fear and do it anyway. I would highly recommend a book by the same name by Susan Jeffers ‘Feel the fear and do it anyways.’
- Take full responsibility for the consequences: No matter what you choose to do, you got to own it and take full responsibility for the outcomes, consequences and only then you would receive the feedback and find answers, and move forward. Without this mindset, you would find yourself making half-hearted efforts, blaming external for any undesired evidence and outcomes and eventually finding ways to quit. By taking full responsibility you will feel empowered and operate from the place of finding a way forward. This empowerment will not come from wishing and praying that real obstacles will disappear magically. It will come from owning your shit all the way with grit, resilience, and determination.
Overcome fears and expand the life you live!
